Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So vagazzling was a success
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
