i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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