dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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