I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
