NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
