I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
