i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
too bad you live with your parents still
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
