You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
