Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
