youre lurking in front of me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
