The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My dick has a subreddit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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