Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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