How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I am mentally ready for anal.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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