Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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