Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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