I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
this hospital has no fireball
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
