I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
