don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
