Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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