i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
