There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
