My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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