Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
