I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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