so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
