do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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