my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
