had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
