Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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