my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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