I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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