So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
