am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just cut my nipple shaving
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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