remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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