So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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