I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
