My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
