she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
