What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
