soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
