we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you had me at cake vodka
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
