i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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