maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
