just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
