No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
