she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize