so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
