the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
