I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize