lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize