he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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