She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
