9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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