So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
