Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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