that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
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