There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you would pick up someone in the library
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize