and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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