we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
