I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize