We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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