apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
