Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
