Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
